I was going to head to my local 12-Step group the other day to celebrate hitting five years sobriety and pick up a chip. It totally slipped my mind. I guess it was not that important to me to go through that ritual. Not sure what that means. Getting lazy in my sobriety? My priorities of what’s important to me in my sobriety have certainly changed since day one. I’ve gone from chaos to basically whittling my life down to very fundamental aspects that do not vary much one way or another day to day. This helps eliminate drama potential unless it occurs within those parameters. I’ve seen too many recovering addicts living in a constant state of drama because they never got control over their surroundings. My family, my girlfriend ,my pets and a few very close friends that I have had for many years are part of that equation. Is that sustainable with a productive and overall happy life in the long term?
I often wonder how I will react when things really spike outside the norm. Will the thoughts of Jim Beam and cocaine cross my mind to even out the drama? Is my program as off the 12-step beam as it is providing me with the balance for the bad times? I got a little taste of that recently when my dog Peanut was diagnosed with Cushings disease. Before I found out it was treatable, I thought I was going to lose her. I was immobilized with grief. Drinking or drugs never crossed my mind. What I thought about was seeking out the people in the fundamental circle I had created. That’s my program. Won’t say that it’s always sunny skies and margaritas(pardon the joke). It’s a constantly evolving cycle of the peaks and valleys of life. Just like anyone else. It works for me. That is what matters.