3 Years Sober

It was three years ago this week that I had a less than a memorable Easter weekend. It was less than memorable because I don’t remember any of it. I started the weekend on a Thursday meeting a friend at a local restaurant, the next thing I knew it was Sunday. I had experienced a drug and alcohol induced blackout.  The next day, I walked into 12 step.  The beginning was miserable. Embarrassment, humiliation, self doubt, wondering if I could actually live a normal lifestyle and after so many years of hitting it hard, not really even understanding what normal was

That same week, I changed my phone number, moved from my home and did all things people do in trying to create a fresh start free of the influences that makes us weak. Those things are not the cause of the problem. I knew that. I just felt that some concrete steps had to be taken to make me feel better about taking the really hard road which is never easy. Failure is ALWAYS easier than that road.  I know many who have done that who were right back boozing and drugging within a couple weeks. Some are not with us anymore.  I then did my 90 12-step meetings in 90 days. I kept at it and got great support from other 12-steppers. It was hard. The 1st Year was very hard. Lots of dreams about alcohol and drugs. Lots of temptation to be resisted. Not physical temptation  but temptation of the mind .  Temptation of memories.  I made it through my 1st year.

The second year was easier but still a journey of exploration of who I really was. I honestly did not know because I had spent so many years trying to be what I thought I needed to be the popular guy and used drugs and alcoholic to reinforce that phony world.  I stayed sober but still was constantly reshaping and re-defining myself as I struggled to find me.

This last year has been great. I have gotten into acting, working on my 1st book and have focused as being defined as my own person. I have accomplished more in this 3rd year than I accomplished in multiple years of living to party.  I do get a little sad when I see the people that I partied with  standing still in their lives ,doing the exact same things they did with me. It’s sad but I can only control my sobriety.  The best thing is that I now can enjoy the sounds of birds of 6 am in the morning. They are a sign of rising to the promise of a great day and not the dread of having been up all night. Here is to year number 3!

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16 Responses

  1. Happy 3rd re-birthday to you! I found your blog post quite articulate,genuine and touching. I dream of the day I can be in the audience at an open AA meeting listening to several of my loved ones give their life story and accept their token signifying their sobriety. Although I don't know you, I want you to know that I'm proud of you. May you continue on your day by day road to serenity and success. Take good care of you! Sincerely, Jayna Phillips

  2. Hey Brian, I just wanted to say congratulations on the tremendous achievement of sobriety for 3 years. As you know, I, too, have struggled with similar issues, but have thank goodness found similar strength to that which you describe in your post here to overcome them (albeit for about half the time that you have). But I just wanted to commend you on helping others with the problems we have faced who might simply need to read what you have written here to know that it IS, indeed, possible to overcome the vice of addiction to drugs and/or alcohol. Again, thank you for finding not only the strength which you have in overcoming this tremendously strong thing called addiction, but also for writing this post. Congratulations again on the tremendous achievement of 3 years sober, and thank you for writing this to commemorate it.

  3. OMG…..who new? Not I….That is fantastic Brian! And you stuck with it…that is major…you know that right….it is thee important step to keep abstinence!! When the years go by…..we deal with our other issues….but not drinking/drugging has to be first or less it's all down hill…..definitely keep on! I am impressed.

    http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-355573 This is my story…Jackie/twitter…citymostar

  4. OMG…..who new? Not I….That is fantastic Brian! And you stuck with it…that is major…you know that right….it is thee important step to keep abstinence!! When the years go by…..we deal with our other issues….but not drinking/drugging has to be first or less it's all down hill…..definitely keep on! I am impressed.

  5. congrats you should be proud of your self I'm sure a man of your status can get his hands on anything and fighting those temptations can only make you stronger as the years go by. here is to a great third year for you and I hope many more

  6. Glad u did 3 year sober! Shows ppl that it is possible to b sober and that addiction can happen to anyone… I stopped drinking for the same reasons.. Nvr went to AA but the first year was super hard though!

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